Covert Ops, by James E. Parker Jr. is about the largest CIA operation ever mounted, and one that flew under the world’s radar because of the media obsession with next-door Vietnam. It is an entertaining book, well written, with down-to-earth snippets of life as a CIA trainee and then officer in the field. Parker writes about his courses during CIA training: French, Sabotage, Explosives, Interrogation, Escape & Evasion, Torture and so on. Midway through the secret war in Laos, Parker recounts this anecdote, comparing the fetid stench of the rotting corpse of a young Hmong fighter to the following killer Coke:
A small banana republic in Latin America was known to use an interrogation/torture technique, in which the interrogators tied the prisoner to a table with his head hanging over the edge. His mouth was covered with tape and Coke poured up his nostrils. As the prisoner tried to breath, the Coke drained down his nose into the sinus passages. It was like a bullet shot right between the eyes. Whether the carbonation caused it or what, the pain was worse than a nerve being hit with a dentist’s drill. It was the most pain a man could endure without passing out – like a bomb going off in the skull, behind and between the eyes. Once during a prison riot in that Latin American country, the prisoners saw the guards bring in a single case of Coke and they stopped rioting.
The smell from that body was a comparable assault on the senses – it had to be the worst smell in the whole world…
The detail arrived behind me and I almost choked. But then I had a thought. With the swirling winds of the helicopter, even though the smell was godawful, Frenchy wouldn’t be able to smell this fellow if we put him inside. he would be up in the air before realizing how special this particular body was…
The Hmong picked up the body – the nearby grass had begun to wilt – and we ran out to the chopper. Frenchy kept up full power without settling completely on the ground and the wind turbulence was strong. The kicker threw open the sliding door, we put the body inside, and Frenchy lifted off as the kicker closed the door.
After I breathed in some fresh air, I started laughing because I in that closed helicopter, about right now, Frenchy was smelling that body.
The helicopter stopped in midair. Stopped. It had its nose down and was gaining altitude and it stopped.
Over the radio I heard. “Holy God Almighty, God…God…God..damn.”
Other Air America pilots in the area heard the same thing and tried to break in on Frenchy to find out if he was in trouble, if a Mayday was imminent.
“What is that smell? What…God…God…God.”
The copilot apparently took the controls because Frenchy continued to yell on the radio. The helicopter turned around and came back over the helipad.
Everyone on board had their heads sticking out the side. The kicker disappeared inside briefly and the body came flying out to land, with a thud, beside me.
I was doubled over with laughter. Never before had I seen a helicopter flown by men with their heads sticking out the windows.
There are several other funny stories too, interspersed throughout the book. Parker’s droll style and succinct observations on many aspects of the secret CIA Laotian war make this a good one to read. Definitely recommended.