The Inferno

More in the everlasting battle between reason and blind faith. This one’s pretty good.

For a bit of background, first watch this:

Ok, so that breathtakingly stupid woman is a Senator from Arizona. She probably spends all her time finding vortexes in Sedona, but no matter. The really scary part is that she can influence policy discussions.

And look at one argument that video caused on Facebook. I only wish I knew the guy’s name so I could add him as a friend. Way to stick it to the “highly intelligent” lady.

Something struck me the other night, a neat way of categorizing the people one sees in a moshpit at rock concerts. Maybe this is true only for metal shows, who knows, I’ve never seen any really violent pits at hard rock concerts.

As you can see, the people right at the front are completely engrossed in the band, they are oblivious to all the goings-on behind them. As far as they are concerned, the people who paid good money but aren’t milking the show right from the front are losers, and who cares about them. Time spent looking at the band: 110%

Then come the first batch of terrified blokes. These guys/girls spend the entire show in that thin buffer between the moshpit and the lucky bastards at the front. This in turn means they spend a majority of their time looking back to deflect the 250 lb gorillas from elbowing them in the spine as they whirl on by. If you see a non-scared person in here, they are either high or simply on their way to another zone in the moshpit diagram. Time spent looking at the band: 30%

The guys in the red are the direct descendants of New York, Anthrax-era circle pits’ founders. They came to have a good time, some of them might not even know the band’s name, but they’re gonna run around and heaven help you if you get in the way of their recidivism. However, they obey the mosh code strictly and if they manage to knock you down, will be the first to run to pick you up out of harm’s way. Time spent looking at the band: 20%

The guys in the light blue on the periphery are just that: peripheral bystanders. These guys are dedicated fans who are either too small, weak or just not brave enough to brave the maelstrom in the centre. They’re content to stand with their significant other in the blue areas and get deafened, since the stacks point directly at these spots. Maybe one day they’ll make it to the front. Dedicated but terrified indeed. Time spent looking at the band: 100%

The next batch of terrified hombres is in the next yellow ring. For better or worse, these guys moseyed on through the back benchers and decided to brave the moshpit. Having rapidly decided that the moshpit is for braver souls than them, but not wanting to seem like cowardly rats slinking of, they linger and evolve into the buffer between the circle pit and the next layer. Like their counterparts on the other side of the human whirlpool, they too spend a majority of time deflecting off blows from guys who fly too close. All the pain, none of the glory. Time spent looking at the band: 30%

The penultimate ring is the guys in blue. These guys are usually older and/or not completely wasted on shady substances. Not wanting to show up to work the next morning with a killer case of whiplash, they are usually serious fans of the band who actually want to see the band sober. Let’s face it, anyone over the age of 40 at a thrash show has invested a significant portion of their life listening to this type of music and is not exactly a casual fan. These guys are the most mature of the crowd and probably know more songs than anybody else on the floor, simply by virtue of being longstanding fans. Time spent looking at the band: 90%

Finally, we come to the last grey section. These people are apathetic and couldn’t care less about the band. Either they are someone’s significant other who got dragged to a concert they didn’t want to go to, or are waiting for the next band. These people often sit and can frequently be found dozing off and just generally not giving a damn. Time spent looking at the band: 10%

Data sources: a million moshpits at a million metal shows.

Billed as the “Most Extreme Metal Tour of 2009″ and sponsored by such heavies as MetalSucks.net, the Summer Slaughter tour of 2009 was a mix of many things. It was long, from 2 PM to 12 AM, a full 10 hours of death metal goodness. We got to the King Cat theatre in Seattle around 4, missing some of the earlier bands. No great loss.

The first band that we saw and liked was Dying Fetus. They were considerably better than their prior brethren, but still ho-hum in parts. After Dying Fetus was Origin. I had had high hopes for Origin. Often spoken of in the same hushed tones normally reserved for Nile or Decapitated, Origin unfortunately failed to deliver. The drummer definitely showcased his prodigious skill, but it overshadowed all the other instruments. Crappy sound quality ruined what might have been a great performance. It just came across as a giant wall of sound, and not in the good Cryptopsy wall-of-sound way either. Here are two songs I could identify:

• Finite
• Wrath of Vishnu

We had a quick dinner after that and returned for the final four bands, the ones that would make it all worthwhile.

Darkest Hour was up first. Some fairly typical NWOSDM, except 14 years too late. However, the frontman had energy and got the crowd going.

Ensiferum was the odd one out. Dressed in Finnish flag kilts and boasting a stripe of black paint on their faces, they did their sound check in Finnish. They were all shirtless, except for the cute female keyboard player, who was the one person everyone wanted to see shirtless, of course. They rocked through their power-metalesque titled set and were actually quite good live. I forget the song names, but they had the crowd chanting the refrains in Finnish for some songs too, no mean feat.

Finally, around 9, Suffocation took the stage. Frank was in a bad mood and was visibly worked up about the venue. “What the fuck is up with these lights, they’re really gonna make a lose it”, and “The sound quality in this stage is the worst I’ve ever heard. If you think it sounds great, that’s fine, if not, come up here on stage and let me know how it sounds, it fucking sucks from here”. One sterling quote was “You got to see 13 death metal bands tonight for 25 bucks as part of the death metal stimulus package”. Other choice gems include “You know the end of the world is coming. Go out there and get lots of guns and lots of ammo. You know you don’t wanna be the guy sitting down at the breakfast table with only one bullet when the motherfuckers break into your house”. If Frank was serious and not merely facetious, that’s quite disappointing. Needless paranoia is just that, needless! Anyhow, Frank channeled his hate into the setlist, which simply exploded off the stage. The highlight of the night was a full circle pit. Not just the first 4 rows moshed, but the entire venue, something I’ve never seen before. Frank knows how to work up the crowd like no other. Anyway, here’s the setlist:

• Catatonia
• Effigy of the Forgotten
• Blood Oath
• Infecting the Crypts
• Habitual Infamy
• Cataclysmic Purification
• Jesus Wept

A very good setlist, 2 new songs. Of course, I would have loved “Breeding the Spawn” or “Despise the Sun”, but one can’t have everything. I ran up and touched Frank’s hand in the post-show aftermath, a very fanboy thing to do, but the guy’s a metal legend, alright.

After some delays, Necrophagist took the stage. While clearly talented and technically proficient, after Suffocation, it was like staring at the wooden face of Steven Seagal. In their defense, they were late and pressed for time and they professionally went through their set, spitting out track after track of melodic technical death with machine-gun precision. But the crowd control was missing and some people even left during the show. I enjoyed Necrophagist a lot, but they were still second to Suffo’s performance, in my estimation. Muhammad barely spoke to the crowd, just yelling out “Thank you Seattle” and “Here’s $song_name, Seattle” in between songs. Here’s their setlist:

• Stabwound
• Foul Body Autopsy
• The Stillborn One
• Intestinal Incubation
• Diminished to B
• Some new song
• Seven
• Ignominous and Pale
• Only Ash Remains
• Fermented Offal Discharge

A very good setlist, then again, they only have 2 albums, so it was bound to be full of songs from them.

One slightly disappointing issue about the show was the quality of the swag. Most of the tshirts weren’t that great and it was just a big let-down. This is the complete opposite of usually every other show, where you only have 30 bucks and have to decide between 5 killer tees. That being said, I managed to find a decent Suffo tshirt to add to my collection.

As for the non-metal bits of the day, they were great too. It was a balmy 28 degrees, not a cloud in sight and Seattleites were out in force on their Independence Day eve. We saw a bit of Pike Market (a perennial favourite, but horribly crowded), and walked up and down the piers and did the usual touristy stuff: burgers, beer and postcards.

Here’s the septoplasty update. My nose seems to have completely healed, but there are some post-operative swellings that refuse to die down.  I believe the technical term is “edema”. In any case, they must be dealt with, and so the surgeon’s prescribed all manner of pills and nasal sprays.

The side-effect: insomnia! Sleeping at 3 AM and waking up at 6 AM makes it only the partial form of insomnia, as opposed to the full Fight Club kind. You might think I’m getting a lot done with all this spare time, but that’s not true. You feel as tired as you do without any sleep, so it’s not exactly helping the productivity factor.

Luckily, I only have to take these blasted pills for another few days, and then I should be back on track. The sprays and whatnot have to be continued for a long time, though. I dislike complications. However, I’m allowed to exert myself now and have been hitting the gym three times a week, as always.

Oh, and Happy Canada Day!